September 5, 2010

Autumn Blogging.

Blogging in the fall seems to be my favorite because fall really is the quintessential time for change. (screw new years) I wish I lived somewhere where the leaves changed colors. At least I get cooler weather than the current 100 degree temperatures, so I'm not complaining. I've been on a mini journey to figure out what I want for my life, for this semester. It's been a challenge because of everything I've been caught up with emotionally.

I'm definitely going back to ASU in January. I've missed it more than words can express. I didn't think I would, like seriously. I'll also be returning to my Gamma Phi's, something I've also missed inexplicably. I think I've just missed hanging out and having people to talk to. I really hate blogging a lot about my relationship with Trey, especially when it's in the state it is currently in. I'm paying heavily for the mistakes I've made, my imperfections, and for lack of better words, we're falling apart. I don't think I've felt more alone in my life and it's not his fault.

All of this has made me question where I want to be in the long run. I've been researching colleges like a senior in a high school, hopefully finding a good fit, because I really never did back then. Ideally, I wanted to be near my best friend in Philly, but I couldn't find any schools that I really matched with. I definitely want a little bit of a city feel and remembering my trip to Colorado earlier this year and seeing University of Colorado Boulder, I did some more research and that looks like where I'd like to transfer after my sophomore year at ASU. It's a lot of money, student loans, change, everything, but I can't stay here anymore.
I'm going to try and get out more. Meet people. I'm so over this and I'm going to go insane without being around people my own age especially until I go back to school in January. I'm ready to move on and hopefully everything can change. Change is everything I want right now and if it just isn't happening on it's own, I have to make it happen. I want love and life and happiness.

Ironically, I found this Post Secret this morning and half of it applied to me, so I cropped out the other half and took it as a sign of things starting to look up? I hope.

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