February 8, 2011

Searching for a New Beginning.

(Me, a year ago)
I think for over a year I've been looking for a fresh start and I'm finally getting it. Everyday I get small reminders of how much I've needed a change: a fight with someone familiar, seeing people from high school at restaurants, or a wonderfully rude anonymous question on my Formspring that has barely been active for months. I've been living in a semi unhealthy environment of Netflix, working from home, wallowing in loneliness, and constantly wishing to be somewhere else.

On Saturday, I pulled into a parking lot of LCB, the place where I would spend so much time over the next year and a half. I stepped into a room of people who didn't know who I dated, didn't know who my best friends used to be or how I spend my Saturday nights, they didn't even know my name, and it was surprisingly the most freeing feeling. My stomach was doing flips nonetheless. My shyness quickly takes hold and I find it difficult to meet people, to introduce myself, but this was my fresh start. They didn't know I was shy. I struck up conversations with people I didn't even know. This was their were first impression of me. There wasn't a history or a standard to live up to.

On Saturday, the finality will set in when I go for my final orientation and meet the rest of the people I will be spending the next year and a half with. It's the new beginning I've been dreaming of. I'm finally going after what is best for ME, not my mom, or dad, or a boy or a best friend, for me. 6 days and a new chapter will be opened finally and I can start over.

(all pictures from weheartit.com)
 (Me, now)
If you're not satisfied, don't wait. Change what you can to make yourself happy. It is better to live a life of, "Oh wells," than, "What ifs." Have a good Tuesday loves. 


  1. I have had that feeling as well. This is the first semester I am going to the college I am attending (I just recently transferred here) and it is freeing to know that they don't know me, yet the endless possibilities arise! Like maybe I can make a new best friend, or make a friend, or an acquaintance! Anything I want can happen, and I am not constricted to the people I knew or know. Not that they are bad, well some are, but it's a cool feeling!


  2. You know I can relate to this, considering my current life. I'm so proud of you for following your dreams! Good luck :)