I'm a City girl.

I think it's become quite evident through my searching that I'm 156% a City girl. After looking at all these schools on College Board, looking at schools with Gamma Phi chapters, and talking to Malori, I'm being drawn heavily to cities. I don't know if it's the culture, the shopping, the freedom, the buildings, the atmosphere, or what. I think all of the above. My heart is currently being torn in about 20 directions. Cool. my indecisiveness will never cease to amaze me in every form of my life. 
Here's my top 5 cities so far. (Without names of course and in no specific order)

Pretty obvious though. :) I'm trying not to limit myself with just one or two schools in those places, but looking at a lot of different options. I don't even know what I want to major in, so that's not a factor at the moment. I know people say it's not the destination, but the journey, but I don't always believe in that especially not in this journey. It will always be all about the destination for me. I think I would happy in any of those 5 cities too even though they're literally all over the map. It's all about falling in love with where I live and I could easily do that in any of those places. It's good to currently have the support of Trey and my dad and stepmom. We talked about it all through dinner and I could tell they're happy for me and it excites me. I have barely anything else on my mind because I can't even wait till everything about this falls into place. YES YES YES. 

P.S. I hope you're enjoying the constantly updated video status updates of my cute little face(jk! ha) that are located right up there to the left! ;)

College Search.

This afternoon I went on a lunch date with my stepmom where I thought I'd get yelled at for something, but it wasn't that.  She could tell I was unhappy living here, not just at home, but in Arizona. She told me it wasn't fair that I felt trapped and couldn't have a real college experience, so she told me to do research and plan and get out and they'd support me. I was shocked, but now that it's sunk in, I'm excited. I will be like a  high school senior and search and scour for a place where I'll belong, not just wishful thinking like I actually did senior year. I want a change, so I want opinions. If you went or attending a university/college you love. Please share it with me. I'm open to all suggestions. :) 
Thanks blogloves, I'm counting on you to help!! :) 

Autumn Blogging.

Blogging in the fall seems to be my favorite because fall really is the quintessential time for change. (screw new years) I wish I lived somewhere where the leaves changed colors. At least I get cooler weather than the current 100 degree temperatures, so I'm not complaining. I've been on a mini journey to figure out what I want for my life, for this semester. It's been a challenge because of everything I've been caught up with emotionally.

I'm definitely going back to ASU in January. I've missed it more than words can express. I didn't think I would, like seriously. I'll also be returning to my Gamma Phi's, something I've also missed inexplicably. I think I've just missed hanging out and having people to talk to. I really hate blogging a lot about my relationship with Trey, especially when it's in the state it is currently in. I'm paying heavily for the mistakes I've made, my imperfections, and for lack of better words, we're falling apart. I don't think I've felt more alone in my life and it's not his fault.

All of this has made me question where I want to be in the long run. I've been researching colleges like a senior in a high school, hopefully finding a good fit, because I really never did back then. Ideally, I wanted to be near my best friend in Philly, but I couldn't find any schools that I really matched with. I definitely want a little bit of a city feel and remembering my trip to Colorado earlier this year and seeing University of Colorado Boulder, I did some more research and that looks like where I'd like to transfer after my sophomore year at ASU. It's a lot of money, student loans, change, everything, but I can't stay here anymore.

I'm going to try and get out more. Meet people. I'm so over this and I'm going to go insane without being around people my own age especially until I go back to school in January. I'm ready to move on and hopefully everything can change. Change is everything I want right now and if it just isn't happening on it's own, I have to make it happen. I want love and life and happiness.

Ironically, I found this Post Secret this morning and half of it applied to me, so I cropped out the other half and took it as a sign of things starting to look up? I hope.